1. Criticize everything she does, especially in front of others and blame her for everything that goes wrong. After all, you are perfect, she is not!
2. No matter how many times she asks you NOT to do something, do it anyway! Those clothes and boots
BELONG on the floor where they can trip someone (her) and that glass in front of the paper towels in the
kitchen NEEDS to be knocked over and broken when you reach for a paper towel.
3. Always tell her that other women are better mothers, housekeepers, cooks, or workers than she is.
4. When she is upset that over a forgotten anniversary or birthday for the umpteenth time, tell her she is "making a mountain out of a molehill" or that she is just "too sensitive".
5. Do NOT, under any circumstances, offer to help her after she's given birth, is ill, or has a painful injury which makes it difficult for her to walk or stand. Instead, just tell her she is "lazy" and demand to know why supper isn't on the table.
6. On your days off, lay around and watch TV all day while she gets up early in the morning, does laundry, cooks, washes dishes, sweeps the mud you tracked in, does paperwork, deals with kids, and cleans up messes you make all over the house. Later in the day, on the occasions when you decide to get up and DO something, tell her she is "a lazy wh*re" and "worthless" because she is too tired or in pain to help you and doesn't have a full time REAL job.
7. Never give her a straight answer when she asks you an everyday question and do not feel remorse when you lie or cheat on her. After all, she's just a woman. She doesn't deserve honesty and respect.
8. Do not kiss her, hold her hand, tell her that you love her, or express any affection, but demand that she satisfy you sexually. Grab her breasts, roughly, and when she complains, ask her "What's your problem??"
9. After that, follow her around, harassing her, while making constant sexual remarks and gestures. After all, that should be a real turn-on for her.
10. Cuss at her whenever you feel like it and use the "f" word freely in front of the kids, so that you can be a great role model for how women should be treated.
11. Go through her personal things. After all, you "own" her and she doesn't deserve respect or privacy.
12. When she tries to stop you from physically abusing one of your children, slug her upside the head and knock her down. That will teach her not to interfere with "disciplining" your child! It goes without saying that you should not feel any remorse over such an incident.
13. After she's exhausted from dealing with a sick child day and night and trying to keep up with household chores while you sprawl on the couch watching TV, leave in a huff because she doesn't have your lunch cooked. Tell her you've given her "enough chances."
14. Never, under any circumstances, express a positive statement about her or your children. They do not deserve it.
